He Rarely Repeats a Mistake

Danny 4-7-12

One thing I've always admired about my husband is that he truly tries not to repeat mistakes--even the minor ones.

Years ago when the block buster movie "Titanic" came out, everyone was raving about how wonderful it was.  Everyone except me, of course, because I hadn't seen it.  I usually let my husband pick the movies we see because he gets such a kick out of it.  Apparently, he wasn't interested in seeing "Titanic."  One day I teased him about the fact that I was the only girl on the planet who had not seen the movie.  He scheduled a date night and took me to see "Titanic."

In honor of the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, the 3D version of "Titanic" just came out, and he didn't wait this time. We saw it this afternoon.  Seeing the movie was great, but being reminded of how much my husband values our marriage was priceless.  It's a small thing, and if I had never seen either version of the movie it wouldn't have been the end of the world, or even our marriage.  The effort that he made to please me, however, does not go unnoticed.  As a matter of fact, it will be cherished forever.

One of the reasons I think we have a good marriage is because this is Danny's second marriage.  He tries really hard at this marriage because he doesn't want a second mistake.  To say that he gives 110% would be putting it mildly; he gives his all--and THAT is why I love him.

Christmas Talk for Church 12-25-11

This talk was given by me in Sacrament Meeting (Worship Service), Sacramento First Ward,  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Christmas Day, December 25, 2011.

The topic the Bishop gave me was "What would you tell all your children if they were here today?"  One of my children is here today with her family.  I was given a similar challenge in August of 1994 by a couple of writers, Bob Greene and D. G. Fulford, and at that time I wrote down a few thoughts which I will read today.  A few lines of what I'm about to read were published in this little book, Notes on the Kitchen Table--my five minutes of fame.

To My Children, My Grandchildren, My Posterity for Generations to Come:

I’ve tried to live my life as an example to others.  I’ve tried to raise my children to be good people.  I’ve tried to be a good person myself.  I’ve tried to be a good wife.  But I’ve made some mistakes.  I’m not perfect.

If there is one thing I’ve learned in this life, it’s that you have to be forgiving of others, as well as forgiving of yourself.  If you can’t forgive yourself, how can you expect others to forgive you?

Religion is a very personal thing.  We all have to find our Heavenly Father in our own way, in our own time.  I testify to all who read this note, that you do have a Heavenly Father.  Your Heavenly Father loves you, and wants only the best for you.  He is close by when you need Him.  Pray always.  Pray with a sincere heart.  Pray in the name of Jesus Christ.  Listen for the answers to your prayers.  It has been said that prayer is like a telephone conversation; it works two ways.  If you don’t listen, you’ll never hear an answer.

I know with all my heart and soul that my Heavenly Father loves me.  I know that my family will be together after this life.  I long to meet my ancestors who passed through this life before me.  I long to hold in my arms the baby I lost.  I know I’ll do that.  I have not a doubt in my mind!

Please look at my life as a whole; don’t pick it apart and criticize my weaknesses.  I have made mistakes, many of them.  I’ve done things and said things that hurt people.  I know that.  Please know that it was not intentional.  I never intentionally went out to hurt another person in my life.  Please forgive me for any weaknesses, and for anything I’ve done which may have hurt you, or someone else.

Have courage to live your lives in these times.  These are not easy times.  It is not long before Jesus Christ will again come to this earth.  The way is being prepared.  It is said that our Heavenly Father saved his strongest children to come to earth in the last days.  I know my children are stronger than I am.  I’ve seen that time and time again.  I’ve watched them endure many things that I would not have been able to endure.  Don’t be afraid of what is to come; welcome it with open arms.

Live each day to the fullest, with great joy!  Don’t brood over hard times—I’ve done that at times, and can tell you that it doesn’t do anyone any good. Watch the simple things in life.  Don’t be too busy to watch a sunrise, or a sunset.  Watch a mother bird feed her babies in the next.  Spend time watching an ant colony bury its dead.  More importantly, share these things with your children!  While you share these things with them, watch your children!  See their faces light up when they discover that ice cream melts when exposed to heat.  Watch their eyes as they pet a new puppy.  Be there when they take their first steps, and when they drive a car for the first time.  Don’t miss a moment of their growing up years!  Teach them to pray.  Listen to them when they talk to you!

Always retain a sense of humor.  If you can laugh, you’ll have a wonderful life.  Never be afraid to laugh at yourself.  Don’t take yourself too seriously, or those around you.

Set goals for yourself, but reasonable goals.  Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to be perfect.  Take one step at a time, then build on each step.  When you stumble, pick yourself up and go on.  When you think you can’t pick yourself up, pray for help.  He’ll be there, or he’ll provide someone in your life to help you.  Remember that your Heavenly Father often helps you through the arms of others.  Reach out to people.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Don’t be afraid to love.

I’ve heard it said that our Heavenly Father never hands us a trial that we can’t handle.  He knows our limitations and our abilities.  Have faith that He knows how strong we are, or how weak we are.

Learn from past experiences.  If it didn’t work last time, it won’t work this time.  If it did work last time, don’t change the method just for the sake of change.

Be kind to yourself.  You can’t be kind to others until you learn to love yourself.

Seek out your Heavenly Father.  He’s there for the asking.  He loves you, Jesus loves you, and I love you.

All my love,

Mom

                                                                                    August 10, 1994

Two of My Favorite Men

Dick Janes (About 1960)

Lon White (About 1959)

The two men above made an incredible impact on my life.  Dick Janes was my father, and Lon White was my father-in-law.  I've written a great deal on this blog about my dad.  He was a very kind, loving, wonderful man.  He was also the most eccentric person that I've ever met.  I've never written about Lon White.
Like Dad, Lon was one of a kind.  When I met him, he was already retired, but he had been a truck driver for Garrett Freight Lines in Idaho.  He was fun loving, and was always up for a tease.  Lon's life had not been easy, especially during the great depression, but he always managed to land on his feet.  Long before I met him, he was an alcoholic.  It made life difficult for his family for a number of years.  One day, however, he drove through some mailboxes.  A kind man loaned him the money to have the mailboxes replaced on the condition that he never take another drink.  Lon was true to his word.  By the time I met him, he not only was sober, but had been sealed to his wife and two of his sons in the LDS Temple for time and all eternity.  I was young and very impressionable when I met Lon, and that always stuck with me.  The power of repentance is real.  The power of forgiveness is also real.  His family was able to embrace the changes and love him for who he had become.  When I met Lon, I had some issues with forgiveness, and this was a great lesson for me.

The first time I met Lon was quite an experience.  Danny and I had driven from Sacramento to Reno, spent the night with my parents, and then driven to Idaho the next day.  It was an incredibly hot summer day to drive through the desert, and I had a horrible cold.  I suspicioned that Lon and Lois White were about to become my father and mother-in-law.  I don't know what I was expecting, but whatever I expected, did not come to pass.  I was totally surprised.  As I got out of the car in Caldwell, Idaho, Lon greeted me with "Hi, daughter!  Do you want a cheese and onion sandwich?"  I'd never had a cheese and onion sandwich before, but I like cheese, and I like onions, and I like bread -- and this was probably going to be my new father-in-law.  "Sure!"  The two of us sat down and enjoyed sandwiches together -- and we were instant friends forever.

As much as I try not to compare these two men, I can't help but do so.  They were both self-made men.  They both were incredibly honest and trustworthy men.   They both had a great sense of family.   They were both very sensitive men.  In other ways, they were as different as night and day.  As fun loving as Dad was, he was also very reserved in a lot of ways.  Lon just laid it all out there.  The first day I was in Idaho, I remember Lon pinching Lois on the rear.  I had a moment of culture shock.  My parents did those things (I assume) behind closed doors.  They had four children, but public displays of affection were nonexistent in the Janes family.  Lon obviously noticed my embarrassment (I'm sure I was blushing), because he delighted over the years in trying to shock me.

Lon and I had a mutual respect for one another.  I think he respected the fact that I stood up for myself in the White family.  I'm not a pushover in any stretch of the imagination, and Lon liked that.  I admired his strength and tenacity.  I admired his ability to turn his life around and become the man he wanted to be.

I learned from my father a great love of God and family.  I learned from Dad to never take blessings for granted.  Dad taught me to be a lady, but one with spunk.  I learned from my father-in-law, that life doesn't end when you make mistakes.  I learned from Lon to pick myself up by my bootstraps and move on.  Lon taught me that life deals the cards, but it's up to me to play the game.