The Power to Bind

There is nothing more precious than family.  As we gathered our family for several special events this weekend, I was amazed yet again at how different we all are -- and yet we all fit together as individual cogs in one big wheel.  It was especially apparent to me this weekend, as we gathered to seal an adopted grandchild to her parents in the LDS Temple for eternity.  The next day priesthood power was used to bless (christen) that same grandchild, as well as another grandchild.

The power to seal families together for eternity is an awesome thing.  In Matthew 16:19, we read:

"And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven:  and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven:  and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

The keys of the kingdom of heaven -- think of that -- what power that is -- literally, the power to act in God's name.  He gave us the power to literally seal our families together forever.  Priesthood power is a wonder to me!  What an incredible gift Heavenly Father gave to His children to bind our families together forever.  Nothing can separate us if we follow the principles of the gospel and are faithful to our covenants.  I can't think of a greater gift than that!

Each family member is an individual in his/her own right.  We are many different personalities in our little group.  Every member of the family gives a unique quality to our family unit.  We may not always agree with each other, and as in all families, we have our ups and downs.  We quarrel and bicker, repent, and proceed.  We are not perfect, but each in our own way is striving to become more Christlike -- and that is the purpose of this whole experience on earth.  There is no member of a family who is "dispensable." Each cog in the wheel is needed to make the wheel strong enough to withstand the test of time.  I don't want to end this life with any broken or missing cogs in our family wheel.

I was so impressed by my two little grandchildren in the temple. As young as they are, they felt the Spirit of the Lord there.  When was the last time you heard two little children whisper for three hours straight?  As they walked the hallway with the temple worker towards the sealing room, they spontaneously began very quietly singing, "I Am a Child of God."  They may not completely understand the significance of the ordinance performed, but they felt something very special that will remain with them for a long time.

The next day in church, as two of our grandchildren were given blessings (christenings), one of my daughters spoke with me about the differences in the two blessings.  It was a testament to the fact that they are two completely different personalities, and they have two completely separate missions on this earth.  Heavenly Father has a plan for each one of us; all we need to do is be faithful and live up to our covenants.  If we slip, there is always repentance.  He is here to help us.  When we reach a stumbling block, we need to dynamite it and push forward.  We will make mistakes -- but that doesn't mean that all is lost. Heavenly Father knew what mistakes we would make from the beginning, and built cushions in the plan for that purpose.  When we hit a wall, we must bounce back.  It's in the plan.  We just need to have confidence to push forward.

I pray that each member of our family unit will continue to strive for this goal of an eternal family.  If we can just hold on to the rod of iron and keep putting one foot in front of the other.  There will be rough days ahead when it will feel like all is lost -- but all is NOT lost, nor will it ever be lost.  The power that binds us together is God's power, and if we keep our covenants, he is bound to keep His.  Don't ever give up!

A Day of Reflection and Contrast

I had a late night last night, and was feeling a little down.  Sometimes temple trips are planned for just the right time it seems, because we had planned to go to the temple today, and I was in desperate need of the peace that I find there.

After sleeping about six hours, I logged on the computer to find the weekly e-mail from our missionary in Brazil.  I didn't think we would get it before we left for the temple, so that was a pleasant surprise.  It was particularly nice since it is the best e-mail or letter we have received so far.  She appears to be thriving -- and I would know if she wasn't because my children aren't very good at "putting on a happy face."

We arrived at the temple later than we anticipated, only 15 minutes prior to the session.  We were asked to be the witness couple, which was wonderful because we have never had a chance to do that in the Sacramento Temple, although we frequently did it in the Oakland Temple.  I was surprised that we arrived that late and they were still looking for a witness couple.  After a beautiful session, we saw our Stake Patriarch, Brother Judd, in the celestial room.  He is also a sealer in the temple, so he asked us to do a sealing session.  Danny and I both love sealing families together for eternity in the temple, and it is particularly wonderful when Brother Judd is the sealer.  Although, Brother Judd did embarrass me in the middle of the session by thanking me in front of the other people in the room for spending several years helping him type his family history.  At the end of the session, I made a point of telling those same people that Brother Judd had left out the part about it being one of the most spiritual experiences of my life.  I left the temple with such peace in my heart -- the kind you only find in the temple.

Danny and I went to lunch at Brookfields.  We had a really quiet, pleasant time there.  Before we left the restaurant, I went to the ladies' room.  By stark contrast to the rest of the morning, there were two women in the restroom discussing their impending divorces.  It struck me that these two women were older than me; one in her mid-60's, and the other in her mid-70's.  One woman said that she was just now getting divorced because she had felt "trapped" in her marriage for years because she didn't feel self-sufficient or prepared financially to "do it on her own."  The other said that she had not felt "trapped," that she appreciated the good things, but that there were things she wanted to change.  She said she'd spent 15 years thinking about this (yes, you heard that right, 15 YEARS), and she just felt this was now the right time to strike out on her own.  It hit me that if she had spent the last 15 years working on her marriage instead of planning for her divorce, she might be happier.

Since we were on that side of town, and since Veterans' Day is in two days, we decided to stop by the cemetery and put flowers on Matt's grave (my stepson), and to the other cemetery to put flowers on Danny's friend Cy's grave.  Cy passed away this last year.  He was a prisoner of war in World War II, and it seemed appropriate to decorate his grave as well.  I drove to Save Mart so Danny could pick up some flowers.  I waited in the car while he ran into the store, and I couldn't stop thinking about the stark contrast of our sealing session in the temple to the conversation in the ladies' room which I overheard.  It was a little surreal.

Our experience in Mt. Vernon Cemetery put all those thoughts to rest.  My husband is the most kind and loving man I've ever met.  I don't think he's ever gone through a day in his life without serving someone.  After we decorated Matt's grave, Danny looked up and realized there was something else we needed to do.  He didn't have to say anything to me because we've been married long enough that I know what he's thinking.  Not far from Matt's grave are three graves without stones.  They just have small markers.  There was a bunch of flowers lying on one of those markers.  Most gravestones have built-in vases for flowers, but the little markers don't have them.  Apparently, whoever left the flowers on the marker didn't know that the office has plastic vases available on stakes that can be pushed into the ground.  Danny's trained landscaper eyes quickly searched the area for a place where someone mowing the lawn would throw a plastic vase to get it out of the way.  It wasn't more than five seconds before he spotted one, picked it up, and headed to the water fountain for water.  I picked up the bunch of flowers, cut off the stems somewhat, and we placed the flowers in the plastic vase and placed it next to the little marker.  We then drove on down the street a couple of miles to East Lawn Cemetery to decorate Cy's grave.

We drove home listening to a Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD.  Words weren't necessary between us.  It had been a good day.  We were left to our own thoughts.  We were left to contemplate and ponder the sacred experiences of the day.

I'm so grateful for the knowledge that families are eternal.  I can't even imagine at this point in our lives thinking about divorce instead of growing old together and looking forward to what comes after this life on earth.  As discouraging as some days get, and as frustrated as we get sometimes as parents, we have hope.  I'm so thankful for hope.  I'm grateful that Heavenly Father let me overhear that conversation today.  It was a great reminder that I have it pretty good.  I'm so blessed!

Anticipation Is Almost Over

It's finally almost here.  The day in some ways we've been waiting for our whole marriage.  Our youngest child is leaving the nest in three days.  I'm writing this on Saturday night, and she leaves early Wednesday morning.

There are a whole lot of emotions at this time.  I'm excited for her.  She is going on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  She will be serving the Lord in the country of Brasil.  There has been a boatload of preparation for this wonderful adventure.  Of course, we will miss her.  I'll do the same thing every night at bedtime that I did when the other kids served their missions.  As I lock the sliding glass door, I'll look out at the stars and the moon, wish her goodnight, and ask Heavenly Father to watch over her.  Then I'll express gratitude that she has this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

While we will miss her, there is something different this time from when the other kids left on their missions.  This time Danny and I will be empty nesters -- alone for the first time in our whole marriage.  I became pregnant with our first child two weeks after we were married -- so we've waited for the "alone time" almost 35 years.  We start our marriage anew Wednesday morning.

We will miss raising kids.  It was a fun period of our lives.  It was also hard -- very hard.  The best things in life are hard.  No one ever said raising kids is easy.  My kids may not know it yet, but we were pretty darned good parents.  We made some enormous mistakes, but we did our best.  They are terrific adults, and I'd like to think we can take credit for at least a portion of that.  I don't think I've ever said that publicly before.  People have told me over the years that we're good parents, and I shrug it off and tell them that we were blessed with good kids.  We were blessed with good kids -- but even the good ones need some direction.  So for the first time in 35 years, I'm going to forget humility and take credit for Danny and I being good parents.

It is with great anticipation that I look forward to the next chapter of our lives together.  I love being Danny's wife.  I'm going to love spending quality time with him every day.  By nature, I'm a spontaneous person.  I'm going to love waking up in the morning and being spontaneous about what the day brings.  You can't do that when you're raising children.

Danny just had his 69th birthday.  My father died when he was 64.  For about a year before Danny turned 64, I could not stop thinking about that.  It was then that I wanted to quit my job and stay home with my husband, but financially, it was not in the cards.  I'm grateful that Danny is still in good health.  I'm even more grateful that we will have this time together.  I just quit working, and I won't be 57 years old for another couple of months.  Our finances would be in better shape if I kept working a few more years, but money isn't everything.  There are some things that are just too important to wait.  At some point, I may end up working again.  As long as I can still type, I can work.  The arthritis in my fingers will just have to understand that!

I love being a granny, and Danny loves being a grandpa.  We look forward to the opportunity to be better grandparents.

Sitting in this seat tonight feels pretty good.  All is well with the world.  We're healthy, we're happy, and none of the kids are in therapy from our parenting (yet).  All five of them (my stepson included in that number) have served missions.  Three of them have marriages sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.  We have every reason to believe that my youngest will come back from her mission and find an eternal companion.  And someday, hopefully, my stepson can be sealed to his wife in the temple by proxy.  After all the years of parental worry and sleepless nights, I think we're seeing the light at the end of the temple -- and all is well.

Forever Families

It is December 30th. My family is gathered at a restaurant for one last breakfast together prior to my oldest daughter, Molly, and her family departing for home after the Christmas holiday. I am holding my granddaughter, Jocelyn, in my arms one last time before they leave.

Jocelyn's adoption is not yet final, and she is still a foster child. While we anticipate that the adoption process will go smoothly, and she will at last be ours legally, it is always a little scary until the judge signs off on the final papers. We don't like to think about it, but anything could happen.

Each time Grandpa and I say goodbye to little Jocelyn, there is a twinge in the heart as we realize that if things don't go as planned, it could be the last time we see her. We have to say goodbye as if it were the last time. I whisper in her ear. Jocelyn, I will always love you, and you will always be my granddaughter. No matter what happens, I love you. I'm crying uncontrollably, now, and my kids notice. I have to get it together.

This challenge has been placed before us, I think, so that we can more fully appreciate temple sealings and eternal families. We look forward to the day when Jocelyn can be sealed to her family in the temple. What a glorious day that will be! That day when no one will ever have the power to separate us! In the meantime, we wait, we hope, we pray, and we depend on the system to do the right thing. The one thing we don't do is to withhold love from a child who so desperately needs love. We don't build any walls to protect our hearts. Jocelyn deserves every inch of our hearts, even if they break. We must continue to believe that there will be that day in the temple to seal her to us for time and all eternity.