Showing posts with label Soul Searching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Soul Searching. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What Kind of Friend Am I?

It's only 11 days into the new year, and I am already soul searching and evaluating mistakes.  Someone who used to work with me passed away in December from a rare form of cancer, and I found out about it this morning.  He didn't develop cancer until after he left our place of employment.  I haven't seen this man since he left the workplace, but I have thought about him occasionally.

Unfortunately, this young man was very unhappy.  I tried to be a friend to him.  We often ate our lunch together in the break room.  I tried to brighten his unhappy outlook on life.  Nothing I did seemed to work.  He was intent on being unhappy, and always seeing black clouds instead of silver linings.  I felt sorry for him.

There came a day when I realized that trying to put a smile on his face was making me frown.  It seemed nothing I did or said made a difference in his life, but he was pulling me down.  So I began to find something else to do during my breaks, and someone else to be with during lunch.  He was a "drag," or a "downer."

He was 33 years old when he passed away.  I'm sad today.  I'm sad that he had an unhappy life -- or at least he couldn't share his happiness with others.  I'm sad that I gave up on friendship with him.  I shouldn't have done that.  I should have tried harder.  Maybe I should have shared with him how I was feeling about his attitude.  Maybe I could have found a way to make a difference.  Could I have brightened his time on this earth just a little?  Would that have been too great a sacrifice?  What more could I have done to help him?  What more could I have done to be a friend?

The truly haunting question is, where would I be if the Saviour ever gave up on me?  I'm sure I was a "drag," and a "downer," in the Garden of Gethsemane.  How many drops of blood did He sacrifice for me?  I'm guilty of giving up on one of Heavenly Father's children -- because it was easier than working with him to help him solve his problems.  What kind of Christian does that make me?  Not a very good one, I'm sure.

What will I do the next time someone passes through my life?  How will I respond?  Will I be a better friend?  Will I learn something from this experience?  I certainly hope so.