Test Patterns

Picture from Wikipedia is in the Public Domain

Remember test patterns?  Remember when insomniacs listened to "Taps" played by an Air Force Band while watching the flag lowered, and then there was the static we called "snow," until television reappeared in the morning via the test patterns?

Off and on during my childhood, we didn't own a television.  When we did, it was not like TV is today.  Reno only had one channel until I was in junior high school when the second channel was added.  When I was in high school, we received a third channel.

We had a little black and white TV with a "rabbit ear" antenna.  Mom was a marvel at adjusting the rabbit ears just right to get optimum reception -- even if it required aluminum foil or a clothes hanger be attached.  Sometimes an assignment was made to sit next to the TV and hold the rabbit ears.

Television used to come with tubes inside, which would burn out and have to be replaced.  Mom was the master of finding, testing, and replacing bad tubes.

At some point the sound began to fizzle on our little black and white TV.  Mom showed us how to hit the top of the TV in just the right spot to get the sound on again.  That worked for a time, then it became so bad that an assignment was made to sit next to the TV and keep banging on it.

When my grandmother Janes passed away, we inherited her television.  At first we were thrilled because it was somewhat larger than our little TV, but the big one had a bad picture tube, which was too expensive to replace.  It only lasted a few weeks.  As usual, Mom saved the day, and the "piggy back" TV was born.  She put the small TV with no sound on top of the larger TV with no picture, and we were back in business.

Television used to be a family activity.  It was charming to gather every Sunday evening for The Ed Sullivan Show.   Dad loved westerns, so we all grew up on Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Have Gun, Will Travel, and a western that I only remember by Dad's name for it, "Tight Pants" -- or maybe that was his name for Paladin on Have Gun, Will Travel -- I don't remember.  Dad loved the movie, The High and the Mighty with John Wayne as an airplane pilot.  We watched it over and over again.  We were visiting Mom in the hospital when she had double pneumonia, and The High and the Mighty came on TV.  We all gathered around her bed to watch it -- me perched on the window sill.  Later, Mom told us that she just wished we had all left her alone so she could rest.

Lorne Greene in Bonanza
Picture from Wikipedia is in the Public Domain

Ironically, the best part of TV was the commercials -- especially cigarette commercials.  I can still hear the music from the Marlboro Man, and I remember the slogan, "I'd walk a mile for a Camel."  Although my siblings and I can still remember some of the lyrics, they must not have been very effective because none of us smoke.  I would much rather have children watching cigarette commercials than male enhancement commercials or feminine hygiene product commercials!

As I sit mindlessly watching reality TV some evenings, I long for those days of simplicity sitting on the floor, propped up with my pillow, dog curled up beside me, watching Bonanza or Big Valley.  During each commercial, someone would take a potty break.  It was then the responsibility of those left in the room to yell, "It's on!" when the show returned.

Dad sometimes made homemade milkshakes for us, or sliced two Milky Way candy bars into thin slices on a plate to share during the show.

Memories are good -- especially those memories of a much less complicated time.

The TV That Wasn't

The first years of our marriage were pretty lean. We didn't have money for nice furniture -- okay, we didn't have money for furniture at all. We had a very small black and white television set that belonged to my husband before we were married. In order to get "watchable" reception, it was necessary to wrap the rabbit ear antennas in aluminum foil and move them around until they were in just the right spot.

Someone gave us a nice color television with a huge big cabinet -- you know, a real nice piece of furniture. It worked for about a week and then died. Looking around at the lack of furniture in my living room, I just couldn't let that nice big piece of furniture go to waste just because the TV inside was dead.

Warning: Kids, don't try this at home! I took my hammer and smashed in the entire TV. I cleaned out all the broken parts and threw them in the trash. I found a couple of pieces of scrap lumber in the garage and made a little stand to sit inside the TV cabinet. I set our little black and white TV on top of the stand and centered it (because it was smaller than the original set in the cabinet). I found some scrap paneling out in the garage, and framed the little black and white TV inside the cabinet. The cabinet even hid the ugly rabbit ears and aluminum foil. Suddenly I had a nice piece of furniture that actually worked. Friends visited our home and didn't even know it was a fake.

As the saying goes, "Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without!"